








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 751 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 393 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3730 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5477 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3011 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5017 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,364,471 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 452 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wetenschapper Wout | 63% | 81 |
| #2 | CADZOR | 59% | 120 |
| #3 | smiley | 56% | 79 |
| #4 | Jextreem vG | 54% | 235 |
| #5 | xantosz | 53% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | CADZOR | 59% | 120 |
| #3 | smiley | 56% | 79 |
| #4 | Jextreem vG | 54% | 235 |
| #5 | xantosz | 53% | 92 |
| #6 | SteN | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CADZOR | 14 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | xantosz | 14 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Jextreem vG | 10 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | smiley | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | SteN | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jextreem vG | 714 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | CADZOR | 456 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | xantosz | 335 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | smiley | 163 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | SteN | 149 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smiley | +3.53 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | xantosz | +1.97 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | CADZOR | +1.85 | 85 | 66 |
| #4 | Jextreem vG | +1.81 | 81 | 68 |
| #5 | Wetenschapper Wout | +1.02 | 88 | 39 |





