








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Wingman | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5344 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4013 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3267 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3994 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $667,278 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 540 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wetenschapper Wout | 68% | 68 |
| #2 | kiet | 63% | 27 |
| #3 | Jextreem vG | 62% | 69 |
| #4 | smiley | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | xantosz | 60% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Sensaw0w | 58% | 140 |
| #9 | MikeyyM | 57% | 80 |
| #10 | weSs+ | 55% | 62 |
| #11 | KANKER | 55% | 88 |
| #12 | BrenDINGELING | 50% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chaR | 36 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | KANKER | 22 | 0.0128 |
| #3 | xantosz | 14 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Sensaw0w | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | RelayP | 10 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikeyyM | 470 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | Sensaw0w | 390 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | KANKER | 345 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | xantosz | 324 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | weSs+ | 317 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smiley | +5.20 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | xantosz | +2.59 | 86 | 57 |
| #3 | CADZOR | +2.20 | 89 | 67 |
| #4 | RelayP | +1.23 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | Jextreem vG | +1.20 | 76 | 69 |





