








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,975 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3676 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4025 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2890 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3384 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $726,782 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1ghto ツ | 67% | 43 |
| #2 | ☆Vax™ | 67% | 33 |
| #3 | Wetenschapper Wout | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | Rickut | 60% | 50 |
| #5 | teun1s | 58% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Basjuh | 49% | 102 |
| #10 | r1qzor | 48% | 44 |
| #11 | beastly | 48% | 21 |
| #12 | syNT | 44% | 72 |
| #13 | clix | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teun1s | 8 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | TimmyG | 8 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | ☆Vax™ | 6 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Basjuh | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | RiseHeaven | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | teun1s | 389 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #2 | Basjuh | 302 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | syNT | 288 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #4 | n1ghto ツ | 165 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rickut | 155 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | norcha | +2.32 | 71 | 69 |
| #2 | Rickut | +1.83 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | r1qzor | +1.50 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | teun1s | +1.34 | 66 | 75 |
| #5 | beastly | +1.21 | 74 | 68 |





