








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 379 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2331 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,239 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2814 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2502 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2912 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2011 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,487,830 of utility $229 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venjex | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | SexPope | 53% | 238 |
| #3 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 52% | 174 |
| #4 | Ed the EAGLE | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | »Riordan272« | 51% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SexPope | 53% | 238 |
| #3 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 52% | 174 |
| #4 | Ed the EAGLE | 52% | 96 |
| #5 | »Riordan272« | 51% | 229 |
| #6 | twilk | 50% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | »Riordan272« | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | SexPope | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | twilk | 4 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexPope | 2021 | 0.38 | 57 min |
| #2 | »Riordan272« | 921 | 0.18 | 26 min |
| #3 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 556 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #4 | Ed the EAGLE | 256 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | twilk | 205 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | +1.71 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | twilk | +0.73 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | »Riordan272« | +0.52 | 52 | 82 |
| #4 | TocaMair | +0.04 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | Ed the EAGLE | -0.12 | 56 | 62 |





