








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
888 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,911 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1088 | 28% |
| Smokes | 948 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 550 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1325 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $253,622 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FAdy200 | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | TocaMair | 52% | 96 |
| #3 | »Riordan272« | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | SexPope | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 49% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TocaMair | 52% | 96 |
| #3 | »Riordan272« | 50% | 100 |
| #4 | SexPope | 50% | 109 |
| #5 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 49% | 85 |
| #6 | Faizon™ | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TocaMair | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | SexPope | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexPope | 936 | 0.40 | 27 min |
| #2 | »Riordan272« | 406 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #3 | TocaMair | 240 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 220 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | FAdy200 | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | +1.55 | 67 | 64 |
| #2 | »Riordan272« | +0.10 | 50 | 79 |
| #3 | Ed the EAGLE | -0.01 | 57 | 62 |
| #4 | TocaMair | -0.39 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | SexPope | -1.36 | 32 | 88 |





