








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 604 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,707 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6859 | 33% |
| Smokes | 5486 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3398 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4964 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,956 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 342 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venjex | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 52% | 176 |
| #3 | danm | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | TocaMair | 51% | 229 |
| #5 | SexPope | 51% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SexPope | 51% | 236 |
| #6 | twilk | 50% | 127 |
| #7 | Ed the EAGLE | 50% | 100 |
| #8 | Faizon™ | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | Snapz 2.0 | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TocaMair | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | SexPope | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | twilk | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Ed the EAGLE | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexPope | 1955 | 0.38 | 54 min |
| #2 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 559 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | TocaMair | 522 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | twilk | 306 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Ed the EAGLE | 259 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | +1.68 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | twilk | +1.06 | 69 | 61 |
| #3 | danm | +1.00 | 50 | 70 |
| #4 | »Riordan272« | +0.79 | 56 | 80 |
| #5 | Ed the EAGLE | -0.08 | 57 | 62 |





