








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 493 matches | ||
| Faceit | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,844 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2543 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3130 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3230 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2941 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $177,876 of utility $12 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 650 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twilk | 65% | 60 |
| #2 | Snapz 2.0 | 62% | 76 |
| #3 | danm | 58% | 57 |
| #4 | Faizon™ | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | KOLT | 49% | 197 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KOLT | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | ุLasse Bluten | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | danm | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | JackieLafon | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | DinoKing 🦕 | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุLasse Bluten | 442 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | KOLT | 351 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | JackieLafon | 227 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | twilk | 179 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | danm | 113 | 0.10 | 2 min |





