








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 172 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2180 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8294 | 40% |
| Smokes | 5269 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3066 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4056 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,873 of utility $87 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venjex | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | twilk | 55% | 106 |
| #3 | TocaMair | 53% | 238 |
| #4 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 53% | 172 |
| #5 | »Riordan272« | 51% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | twilk | 55% | 106 |
| #3 | TocaMair | 53% | 238 |
| #4 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 53% | 172 |
| #5 | »Riordan272« | 51% | 236 |
| #6 | Ed the EAGLE | 50% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | »Riordan272« | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | twilk | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | TocaMair | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Ed the EAGLE | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | »Riordan272« | 971 | 0.19 | 28 min |
| #2 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 552 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | TocaMair | 542 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Ed the EAGLE | 277 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #5 | twilk | 241 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | +1.75 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | twilk | +1.31 | 68 | 60 |
| #3 | »Riordan272« | +0.62 | 53 | 80 |
| #4 | TocaMair | -0.08 | 63 | 64 |
| #5 | Ed the EAGLE | -0.15 | 56 | 61 |





