








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 868 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 27 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 161 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8269 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6011 | 25% |
| Smokes | 6171 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7084 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5187 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,256,537 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 577 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Höppelepöpp | 56% | 96 |
| #2 | SexPope | 53% | 172 |
| #3 | TocaMair | 52% | 174 |
| #4 | »Riordan272« | 52% | 176 |
| #5 | alpfacka | 52% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexPope | 1521 | 0.39 | 42 min |
| #2 | »Riordan272« | 715 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | ☭ Köter ☭ | 477 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | TocaMair | 413 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ed the EAGLE | 228 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | +2.33 | 70 | 64 |
| #2 | ☭ Köter ☭ | +1.31 | 52 | 69 |
| #3 | Höppelepöpp | +0.96 | 52 | 57 |
| #4 | alpfacka | +0.65 | 85 | 57 |
| #5 | »Riordan272« | +0.51 | 52 | 82 |





