








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 648 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 311 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,956 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5226 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3505 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4054 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3171 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,097,676 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Venjex | 65% | 60 |
| #2 | SexPope | 55% | 106 |
| #3 | #NoTalent FreddyH | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 52% | 77 |
| #5 | manny | 51% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | »Riordan272« | 50% | 127 |
| #7 | TocaMair | 50% | 102 |
| #8 | Faizon™ | 49% | 136 |
| #9 | Snapz 2.0 | 49% | 242 |
| #10 | danm | 47% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Faizon™ | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | »Riordan272« | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | SexPope | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | TocaMair | 2 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SexPope | 873 | 0.36 | 24 min |
| #2 | »Riordan272« | 555 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #3 | danm | 385 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Snapz 2.0 | 271 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | 263 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twilk | +2.32 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | Geiler Daddler M_1_T_L | +1.74 | 59 | 66 |
| #3 | danm | +1.12 | 54 | 65 |
| #4 | »Riordan272« | +0.51 | 56 | 82 |
| #5 | manny | -0.27 | 52 | 56 |





