








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 36 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 639 | 21% |
| Smokes | 810 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 762 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 885 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $959,899 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stivin keis | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | ASIANSHERIFF | 59% | 29 |
| #3 | spreng deg ******** ᶠuᶜk | 55% | 29 |
| #4 | Samegame | 54% | 57 |
| #5 | ₿ ThiaS | 53% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | mike hawk | 51% | 53 |
| #9 | Simple men | 48% | 54 |
| #10 | ✪Panda | 46% | 13 |
| #11 | Mattaa | 42% | 24 |
| #12 | Henrik | 30% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Easthouse | 16 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | Snow | 15 | 0.0119 |
| #3 | Samegame | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | ₿ ThiaS | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Simple men | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Easthouse | 225 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Snow | 202 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | ₿ ThiaS | 118 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | ASIANSHERIFF | 109 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | mike hawk | 107 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stivin keis | +4.15 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | ₿ ThiaS | +2.89 | 82 | 58 |
| #3 | Snow | +2.57 | 67 | 44 |
| #4 | Samegame | +1.81 | 48 | 60 |
| #5 | ✪Panda | +1.44 | 82 | 73 |





