








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 21 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,033 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1340 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1568 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1935 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2190 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $463,607 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stivin keis | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | spreng deg ******** ᶠuᶜk | 53% | 32 |
| #3 | Laaw2001 | 52% | 85 |
| #4 | Samegame | 51% | 47 |
| #5 | Henrik | 51% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Henrik | 51% | 55 |
| #6 | Snow | 49% | 85 |
| #7 | Simple men | 48% | 73 |
| #8 | ₿ ThiaS | 46% | 145 |
| #9 | mike hawk | 43% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 14 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | ₿ ThiaS | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Samegame | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | Laaw2001 | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Simple men | 4 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Snow | 193 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | ₿ ThiaS | 136 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Simple men | 115 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | mike hawk | 110 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | spreng deg ******** ᶠuᶜk | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stivin keis | +3.34 | 71 | 57 |
| #2 | Snow | +2.31 | 76 | 46 |
| #3 | Samegame | +1.28 | 58 | 70 |
| #4 | ₿ ThiaS | +1.03 | 80 | 61 |
| #5 | Easthouse | -0.07 | 64 | 52 |





