








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 855 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 308 matches | ||
| Faceit | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12811 | 39% |
| Smokes | 8129 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5875 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5769 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,144,530 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stewje | 68% | 37 |
| #2 | paul | 66% | 50 |
| #3 | Jerbaut | 65% | 171 |
| #4 | VaPoR™ | 64% | 140 |
| #5 | wurmsoN | 62% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | od1N | 53% | 168 |
| #13 | EgoG1I | 53% | 36 |
| #14 | Wrimel | 51% | 47 |
| #15 | 30yoTALENT | 47% | 70 |
| #16 | Crankill | 41% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ken | 20 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | VaPoR™ | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | fabi98 | 4 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | EgoG1I | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | od1N | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ken | 1088 | 0.19 | 26 min |
| #2 | Jerbaut | 872 | 0.24 | 28 min |
| #3 | wurmsoN | 702 | 0.26 | 19 min |
| #4 | od1N | 398 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | Wrimel | 256 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickey シ | +4.21 | 91 | 84 |
| #2 | stewje | +2.59 | 96 | 75 |
| #3 | Jerbaut | +0.75 | 57 | 85 |
| #4 | VaPoR™ | +0.68 | 90 | 57 |
| #5 | wurmsoN | +0.27 | 69 | 77 |





