








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 350 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4335 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7923 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6044 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4758 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5160 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,519 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 368 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stewje | 70% | 30 |
| #2 | Mickey シ | 62% | 130 |
| #3 | xDemixD | 61% | 103 |
| #4 | Jerbaut | 59% | 338 |
| #5 | Godypmu | 58% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Godypmu | 58% | 53 |
| #6 | VaPoR™ | 57% | 248 |
| #7 | paul | 57% | 152 |
| #8 | Wrimel | 52% | 128 |
| #9 | topkek | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerbaut | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | VaPoR™ | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | xDemixD | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Mickey シ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | paul | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerbaut | 1639 | 0.22 | 51 min |
| #2 | Wrimel | 680 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #3 | Mickey シ | 616 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #4 | paul | 402 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | VaPoR™ | 340 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stewje | +2.66 | 95 | 77 |
| #2 | topkek | +1.34 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Mickey シ | +1.18 | 87 | 77 |
| #4 | Jerbaut | +0.70 | 58 | 85 |
| #5 | VaPoR™ | +0.57 | 90 | 59 |





