








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4149 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3303 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3385 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3053 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3323 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,091,484 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nörte | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | Exude | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | CheatOn | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | Crankill | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | 30yoTALENT | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ken | 26 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Mickey シ | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | fabi98 | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Arkeo | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | EgoG1I | 3 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ken | 1759 | 0.22 | 43 min |
| #2 | Mickey シ | 1684 | 0.51 | 54 min |
| #3 | fabi98 | 420 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Arkeo | 160 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | 30yoTALENT | 115 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickey シ | +5.51 | 93 | 88 |
| #2 | Exude | +1.18 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | fabi98 | +0.38 | 73 | 67 |
| #4 | Ken | +0.32 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | EgoG1I | -0.04 | 82 | 56 |





