








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1242 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1021 matches | ||
| Faceit | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




150 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13922 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 69,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21310 | 31% |
| Smokes | 16060 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 17019 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 14863 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,787,360 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13395 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exude | 54% | 123 |
| #2 | Mickey シ | 53% | 281 |
| #3 | Riipex | 52% | 156 |
| #4 | fabi98 | 50% | 465 |
| #5 | od1N | 49% | 387 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | od1N | 49% | 387 |
| #6 | Gregor Gysi | 48% | 153 |
| #7 | Jaggre | 48% | 83 |
| #8 | EgoG1I | 46% | 80 |
| #9 | Arkeo | 46% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fabi98 | 39 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Gregor Gysi | 26 | 0.0089 |
| #3 | od1N | 16 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Arkeo | 14 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Mickey シ | 13 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickey シ | 3024 | 0.54 | 102 min |
| #2 | fabi98 | 1499 | 0.16 | 37 min |
| #3 | od1N | 1072 | 0.14 | 27 min |
| #4 | Arkeo | 415 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | Exude | 261 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mickey シ | +5.37 | 92 | 88 |
| #2 | Exude | +1.18 | 71 | 66 |
| #3 | Ken | +0.74 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | fabi98 | +0.42 | 72 | 67 |
| #5 | EgoG1I | +0.32 | 83 | 58 |





