








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 352 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2437 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3961 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3041 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2704 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,860,402 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 146 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | xDemixD | 60% | 88 |
| #9 | paul | 58% | 197 |
| #10 | wurmsoN | 57% | 248 |
| #11 | Wrimel | 48% | 151 |
| #12 | topkek | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerbaut | 15 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | flusel | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | paul | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | wurmsoN | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Mickey シ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jerbaut | 2380 | 0.23 | 75 min |
| #2 | wurmsoN | 1653 | 0.31 | 46 min |
| #3 | Wrimel | 793 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #4 | Mickey シ | 764 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #5 | paul | 482 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stewje | +2.33 | 95 | 74 |
| #2 | VaPoR™ | +1.71 | 92 | 55 |
| #3 | Jerbaut | +1.27 | 62 | 85 |
| #4 | xDemixD | +1.19 | 60 | 63 |
| #5 | Mickey シ | +1.05 | 86 | 77 |





