








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 33 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1511 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2596 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3048 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2842 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $608,699 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | humanistiherra | 59% | 285 |
| #2 | TurtleMaDDio | 57% | 143 |
| #3 | Komisario Kalmu | 56% | 102 |
| #4 | Shrooms | 55% | 91 |
| #5 | Kurwane | 55% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | humanistiherra | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Remu | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Kurwane | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Temegron | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Shrooms | 4 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Remu | 403 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Kurwane | 296 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Temegron | 270 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Shrooms | 210 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rizee | 175 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurtleMaDDio | +5.72 | 77 | 46 |
| #2 | Kurwane | +3.37 | 75 | 48 |
| #3 | Shrooms | +3.29 | 63 | 71 |
| #4 | IGOR | +2.61 | 69 | 51 |
| #5 | Temegron | +1.70 | 73 | 77 |





