








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 45 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5694 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7105 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6066 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6619 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $536,238 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | humanistiherra | 54% | 349 |
| #2 | Shrooms | 51% | 145 |
| #3 | Pegga Pelaa | 50% | 178 |
| #4 | TurtleMaDDio | 49% | 345 |
| #5 | Kurwane | 47% | 481 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kurwane | 47% | 481 |
| #6 | Komisario Kalmu | 45% | 227 |
| #7 | Temegron | 45% | 199 |
| #8 | Rizee | 42% | 230 |
| #9 | IGOR | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kurwane | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Rizee | 19 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | humanistiherra | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | TurtleMaDDio | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Temegron | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rizee | 622 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Kurwane | 539 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | TurtleMaDDio | 495 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #4 | Temegron | 416 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | Komisario Kalmu | 386 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TurtleMaDDio | +3.99 | 76 | 53 |
| #2 | Shrooms | +2.89 | 61 | 69 |
| #3 | Kurwane | +2.17 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | IGOR | +1.13 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | Temegron | +0.32 | 69 | 75 |





