








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
812 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,559 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 580 | 23% |
| Smokes | 656 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 706 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 617 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $384,308 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jesper:) | 45% | 101 |
| #5 | dribbelkung | 43% | 58 |
| #6 | CapsXD | 43% | 14 |
| #7 | Agst🐧 | 40% | 35 |
| #8 | Algfred | 34% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟Ponkless😏⛟ | 10 | 0.0077 |
| #2 | Jesper:) | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Algfred | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | dribbelkung | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Agst🐧 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⛟Ponkless😏⛟ | 168 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #2 | Jesper:) | 167 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | dribbelkung | 122 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Agst🐧 | 90 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Algfred | 53 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lu_K_aS | +2.14 | 86 | 71 |
| #2 | dribbelkung | +2.07 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | Jesper:) | +1.22 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | Agst🐧 | +0.87 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | ⛟Ponkless😏⛟ | -0.08 | 64 | 55 |





