








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 219 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,314 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2047 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2795 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1879 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2593 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,139 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 256 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | PatterP | 50% | 34 |
| #7 | Agst🐧 | 47% | 97 |
| #8 | CapsXD | 47% | 58 |
| #9 | Sture | 46% | 67 |
| #10 | Algfred | 39% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesper:) | 19 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | dribbelkung | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Algfred | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Sture | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #5 | Agst🐧 | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesper:) | 442 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | dribbelkung | 349 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Lu_K_aS | 318 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | Agst🐧 | 246 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sture | 111 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lu_K_aS | +2.02 | 79 | 70 |
| #2 | dribbelkung | +1.51 | 82 | 68 |
| #3 | Emil'acc | +0.87 | 76 | 59 |
| #4 | Jesper:) | +0.81 | 81 | 61 |
| #5 | Agst🐧 | +0.50 | 76 | 61 |





