








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 121 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
2145 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 966 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1625 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1775 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2028 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $417,050 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 138 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | atrox | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Swan | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | N8 | 63% | 120 |
| #4 | Dan | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | lemowel | 63% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Hann | 62% | 52 |
| #8 | yonkerzz | 57% | 132 |
| #9 | Nir | 52% | 31 |
| #10 | Aza | 50% | 18 |
| #11 | EL FABIOLO | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemowel | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Nir | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Aza | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonkerzz | 394 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #2 | Jackmon- | 372 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | N8 | 172 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | lemowel | 123 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nir | 114 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N8 | +1.63 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | churley | +0.94 | 88 | 62 |
| #3 | atrox | +0.86 | 87 | 65 |
| #4 | Jackmon- | +0.77 | 82 | 75 |
| #5 | EL FABIOLO | +0.11 | 89 | 62 |





