








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1657 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1986 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1344 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1700 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,032 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | N8 | 52% | 77 |
| #11 | churley | 52% | 31 |
| #12 | yonkerzz | 51% | 77 |
| #13 | Hann | 50% | 16 |
| #14 | atrox | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonkerzz | 261 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Jackmon- | 197 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | N8 | 143 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | EL FABIOLO | 92 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bonk | 86 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bonk | +2.86 | 94 | 59 |
| #2 | EL FABIOLO | +1.75 | 93 | 68 |
| #3 | Nir | +1.02 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | N8 | +0.82 | 90 | 59 |
| #5 | churley | +0.52 | 87 | 68 |





