








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 226 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,028 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2058 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3390 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3185 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3395 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $828,820 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Whindanski*[p$] | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Aza | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | churley | 63% | 120 |
| #4 | lemowel | 61% | 85 |
| #5 | Hann | 61% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jackmon- | 60% | 182 |
| #7 | EL FABIOLO | 59% | 71 |
| #8 | yonkerzz | 57% | 205 |
| #9 | atrox | 57% | 46 |
| #10 | Nir | 52% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonkerzz | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | Nir | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Aza | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Hann | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | lemowel | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jackmon- | 812 | 0.20 | 23 min |
| #2 | yonkerzz | 681 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | Nir | 292 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | churley | 219 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | lemowel | 204 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N8 | +1.77 | 92 | 57 |
| #2 | EL FABIOLO | +1.35 | 92 | 67 |
| #3 | atrox | +0.66 | 89 | 60 |
| #4 | Hann | +0.63 | 84 | 46 |
| #5 | Jackmon- | +0.54 | 81 | 75 |





