








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 795 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Faceit | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6914 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5007 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3943 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3440 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 4574 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,483,281 of utility $186 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jackmon- | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | churley | 63% | 54 |
| #3 | yonkerzz | 62% | 109 |
| #4 | N8 | 61% | 85 |
| #5 | DrCock | 59% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | N8 | 61% | 85 |
| #5 | DrCock | 59% | 79 |
| #6 | No7_7oday | 58% | 48 |
| #7 | Swan | 53% | 74 |
| #8 | Dan | 48% | 307 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | DrCock | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | No7_7oday | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | yonkerzz | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Swan | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 1163 | 0.18 | 30 min |
| #2 | yonkerzz | 363 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Swan | 323 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | No7_7oday | 205 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jackmon- | 182 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N8 | +2.28 | 94 | 61 |
| #2 | churley | +1.31 | 88 | 66 |
| #3 | lemowel | +1.22 | 83 | 61 |
| #4 | Jackmon- | +0.96 | 78 | 82 |
| #5 | DrCock | +0.51 | 69 | 60 |





