








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 411 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1444 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2423 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1883 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1684 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,668 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 471 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MILKJ | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | churley | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | N8 | 61% | 109 |
| #4 | Jackmon- | 59% | 58 |
| #5 | yonkerzz | 58% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | wils | 54% | 35 |
| #10 | Ute Uncle Barry | 53% | 144 |
| #11 | april | 53% | 207 |
| #12 | Monkey Pints | 51% | 160 |
| #13 | Tweety | 50% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | april | 636 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | Ute Uncle Barry | 636 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #3 | Tweety | 469 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | Monkey Pints | 429 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #5 | B I A N | 399 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hann | +4.05 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | N8 | +1.80 | 93 | 58 |
| #3 | churley | +0.57 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | Jackmon- | +0.17 | 85 | 74 |
| #5 | april | -0.25 | 61 | 50 |





