








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
2847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3169 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2709 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2225 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2233 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $470,337 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 177 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lemowel | 66% | 38 |
| #2 | churley | 62% | 86 |
| #3 | Aza | 61% | 23 |
| #4 | Whindanski*[p$] | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | N8 | 60% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Comrade | 53% | 15 |
| #12 | Static_Inner_Flow | 50% | 16 |
| #13 | Electro | 50% | 22 |
| #14 | Incipiens | 48% | 21 |
| #15 | Sean | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonkerzz | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #2 | Hann | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Nir | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | lemowel | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Aza | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yonkerzz | 400 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | N8 | 261 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | churley | 157 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Nir | 147 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | EL FABIOLO | 137 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | N8 | +1.54 | 91 | 55 |
| #2 | EL FABIOLO | +0.92 | 90 | 66 |
| #3 | atrox | +0.86 | 89 | 62 |
| #4 | Whindanski*[p$] | +0.78 | 82 | 48 |
| #5 | Jackmon- | +0.76 | 81 | 73 |





