








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 256 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,262 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7904 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7857 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3923 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5578 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,229,382 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pnathan | 46% | 70 |
| #8 | infinity ☾ | 45% | 288 |
| #9 | RGriffer | 42% | 113 |
| #10 | Anger | 41% | 232 |
| #11 | bren | 36% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maevvy | 14 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Chad Ryan | 13 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | infinity ☾ | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Beans, gentlemen | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Apoc ☕ | 6 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | 1936 | 0.16 | 58 min |
| #2 | Beans, gentlemen | 703 | 0.11 | 21 min |
| #3 | infinity ☾ | 398 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #4 | RGriffer | 396 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | Anger | 311 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | +3.39 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | Maevvy | +0.54 | 70 | 46 |
| #3 | RGriffer | +0.38 | 67 | 71 |
| #4 | infinity ☾ | -0.41 | 55 | 47 |
| #5 | Yung Tax Evasion | -0.59 | 68 | 55 |





