








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1091 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4216 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,384 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6589 | 46% |
| Smokes | 3239 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1823 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2733 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,168,609 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 941 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breezyMS | 59% | 61 |
| #2 | Hellopppp! | 55% | 49 |
| #3 | Beans, gentlemen | 53% | 125 |
| #4 | Chad Ryan | 52% | 265 |
| #5 | SHDYNASTY | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Pnathan | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | Slink | 47% | 133 |
| #9 | infinity ☾ | 44% | 84 |
| #10 | Yung Tax Evasion | 42% | 113 |
| #11 | Anger | 40% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slink | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Maevvy | 8 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | breezyMS | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Beans, gentlemen | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Chad Ryan | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | 805 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Yung Tax Evasion | 412 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Slink | 349 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Beans, gentlemen | 250 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Maevvy | 171 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breezyMS | +2.73 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Chad Ryan | +2.55 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | RGriffer | +0.52 | 68 | 70 |
| #4 | SHDYNASTY | +0.09 | 75 | 57 |
| #5 | Maevvy | +0.08 | 70 | 47 |





