








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 960 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 127 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6655 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2307 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 4581 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4456 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,892,857 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 595 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breezyMS | 65% | 48 |
| #2 | RGriffer | 53% | 125 |
| #3 | Hellopppp! | 52% | 95 |
| #4 | Maevvy | 51% | 189 |
| #5 | Chad Ryan | 50% | 597 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maevvy | 16 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Chad Ryan | 10 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | infinity ☾ | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Yung Tax Evasion | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Black Hole | 6 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | 1908 | 0.16 | 56 min |
| #2 | Yung Tax Evasion | 1318 | 0.21 | 33 min |
| #3 | RGriffer | 489 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #4 | Maevvy | 337 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | Hellopppp! | 314 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breezyMS | +3.25 | 68 | 56 |
| #2 | Chad Ryan | +3.24 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Maevvy | +0.60 | 70 | 46 |
| #4 | RGriffer | +0.14 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | Beans, gentlemen | +0.02 | 77 | 60 |





