








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2161 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 369 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 56 matches | ||
| Faceit | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16102 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10139 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6324 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 8211 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 8703 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,826,784 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breezyMS | 58% | 92 |
| #2 | RGriffer | 52% | 265 |
| #3 | Hellopppp! | 52% | 173 |
| #4 | Maevvy | 52% | 266 |
| #5 | Beans, gentlemen | 50% | 597 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maevvy | 25 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Beans, gentlemen | 18 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | infinity ☾ | 15 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Yung Tax Evasion | 12 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | breezyMS | 9 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Tax Evasion | 2380 | 0.19 | 59 min |
| #2 | Beans, gentlemen | 1246 | 0.10 | 36 min |
| #3 | RGriffer | 1026 | 0.19 | 34 min |
| #4 | Hellopppp! | 587 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #5 | Maevvy | 442 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | +3.16 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | breezyMS | +2.47 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | Maevvy | +0.64 | 71 | 47 |
| #4 | RGriffer | +0.19 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | Beans, gentlemen | -0.72 | 78 | 60 |





