










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,885 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3970 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3236 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3130 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2549 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $702,964 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breezyMS | 56% | 45 |
| #2 | Maevvy | 54% | 191 |
| #3 | Beans, gentlemen | 48% | 189 |
| #4 | Chad Ryan | 47% | 303 |
| #5 | Pnathan | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Pnathan | 46% | 81 |
| #6 | Yung Tax Evasion | 45% | 288 |
| #7 | RGriffer | 44% | 84 |
| #8 | Hellopppp! | 37% | 46 |
| #9 | Anger | 32% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maevvy | 18 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | breezyMS | 9 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | Yung Tax Evasion | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Beans, gentlemen | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Chad Ryan | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Tax Evasion | 1097 | 0.19 | 27 min |
| #2 | Chad Ryan | 929 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #3 | Beans, gentlemen | 402 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #4 | RGriffer | 314 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #5 | Maevvy | 310 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | +3.28 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | breezyMS | +3.21 | 66 | 53 |
| #3 | Maevvy | +0.52 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | RGriffer | +0.34 | 68 | 70 |
| #5 | Beans, gentlemen | -0.26 | 79 | 61 |





