








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1742 | 20% |
| Smokes | 2169 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2584 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2358 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,862,613 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | breezyMS | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | Hellopppp! | 48% | 27 |
| #3 | Chad Ryan | 42% | 319 |
| #4 | Beans, gentlemen | 41% | 172 |
| #5 | Yung Tax Evasion | 41% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | RGriffer | 40% | 77 |
| #7 | Slink | 39% | 28 |
| #8 | Maevvy | 36% | 84 |
| #9 | infinity ☾ | 32% | 114 |
| #10 | bren | 31% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maevvy | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Chad Ryan | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Beans, gentlemen | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | infinity ☾ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | breezyMS | 3 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | 984 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #2 | Yung Tax Evasion | 956 | 0.21 | 24 min |
| #3 | Beans, gentlemen | 368 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | RGriffer | 354 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #5 | bren | 137 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad Ryan | +3.64 | 80 | 63 |
| #2 | breezyMS | +2.83 | 64 | 56 |
| #3 | Maevvy | +0.34 | 72 | 45 |
| #4 | RGriffer | +0.30 | 65 | 71 |
| #5 | infinity ☾ | -0.38 | 58 | 45 |





