








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Esplay | 21 matches | 2,048 | |
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5672 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3705 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4909 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3499 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,789,736 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tore | 2191 | 0.37 | 61 min |
| #2 | Shipper | 590 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | sHREDDAN | 435 | 0.28 | 10 min |
| #4 | Veabuen | 400 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | atl3 | 230 | 0.07 | 6 min |





