










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,047 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 422 | 40% |
| Smokes | 20 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 110 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 495 | 47% |
Our logs show you have wasted $176,128 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 80 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | J-D | 52% | 44 |
| #6 | Mario_be_Trippin | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | jSX | 50% | 22 |
| #8 | Middleman | 49% | 49 |
| #9 | Spevin Kacey | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spevin Kacey | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Middleman | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | J-D | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Mario_be_Trippin | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | Talha | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-D | 139 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | Talha | 106 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #3 | Spevin Kacey | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Middleman | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | jSX | 10 | 0.02 | 0 min |





