










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
912 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,285 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 281 | 9% |
| Smokes | 707 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1377 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 920 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $745,450 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Talha | 50% | 24 |
| #2 | Lookman | 48% | 31 |
| #3 | jSX | 46% | 68 |
| #4 | J-D | 43% | 157 |
| #5 | Middleman | 43% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Middleman | 43% | 164 |
| #6 | Green man | 41% | 22 |
| #7 | Spevin Kacey | 38% | 110 |
| #8 | cliveo~ | 34% | 29 |
| #9 | Legitz | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Middleman | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | cliveo~ | 4 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Spevin Kacey | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Talha | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | J-D | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-D | 617 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Middleman | 184 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | Spevin Kacey | 110 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #4 | Talha | 104 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | cliveo~ | 103 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-D | +3.45 | 69 | 54 |
| #2 | Middleman | +2.98 | 72 | 49 |
| #3 | Legitz | +2.50 | 76 | 46 |
| #4 | Talha | +2.00 | 70 | 53 |
| #5 | cliveo~ | +0.24 | 82 | 55 |





