








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 332 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 116 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1042 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 22% |
| Smokes | 289 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 510 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 605 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $226,068 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tawqe | 49% | 49 |
| #2 | Talha | 45% | 66 |
| #3 | J-D | 39% | 223 |
| #4 | jSX | 39% | 83 |
| #5 | Mario_be_Trippin | 38% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mario_be_Trippin | 38% | 110 |
| #6 | Middleman | 38% | 223 |
| #7 | cliveo~ | 31% | 71 |
| #8 | Green man | 28% | 18 |
| #9 | Demarcus III | 6% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Middleman | 17 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | J-D | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Mario_be_Trippin | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | cliveo~ | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Talha | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-D | 806 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | Talha | 312 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | Middleman | 239 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | cliveo~ | 221 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tawqe | 158 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-D | +3.16 | 65 | 52 |
| #2 | Middleman | +2.65 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | Talha | +1.40 | 72 | 54 |
| #4 | cliveo~ | +1.36 | 85 | 61 |
| #5 | Green man | -0.37 | 51 | 56 |





