








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 361 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,014 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1242 | 62% |
| Smokes | 413 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 24 | 1% |
| Molotovs | 335 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $270,504 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jSX | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Tawqe | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | Mario_be_Trippin | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | J-D | 48% | 63 |
| #5 | Spevin Kacey | 45% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Mario_be_Trippin | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | J-D | 48% | 63 |
| #5 | Spevin Kacey | 45% | 66 |
| #6 | Middleman | 44% | 68 |
| #7 | cliveo~ | 17% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Middleman | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | J-D | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Mario_be_Trippin | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Spevin Kacey | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | cliveo~ | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-D | 314 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | Middleman | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Tawqe | 66 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Spevin Kacey | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | cliveo~ | 20 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Middleman | +2.72 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | J-D | +2.51 | 66 | 52 |
| #3 | Talha | +1.47 | 71 | 53 |
| #4 | cliveo~ | +0.56 | 90 | 58 |
| #5 | Tawqe | -1.90 | 22 | 47 |





