








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 510 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
821 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 360 | 17% |
| Smokes | 392 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 792 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 611 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $579,727 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green man | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Talha | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | cliveo~ | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Lookman | 55% | 80 |
| #5 | Tawqe | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tawqe | 50% | 22 |
| #6 | Middleman | 49% | 114 |
| #7 | J-D | 48% | 110 |
| #8 | Mario_be_Trippin | 46% | 68 |
| #9 | Spevin Kacey | 39% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Middleman | 11 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | J-D | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | cliveo~ | 2 | 0.0070 |
| #4 | Spevin Kacey | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Lookman | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J-D | 452 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #2 | Middleman | 129 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | Lookman | 106 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Talha | 98 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #5 | Spevin Kacey | 89 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Middleman | +4.37 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | J-D | +3.98 | 66 | 51 |
| #3 | Green man | +3.86 | 49 | 62 |
| #4 | Talha | +2.97 | 68 | 61 |
| #5 | cliveo~ | +2.36 | 94 | 66 |





