








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 54 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1678 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,225 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2219 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2185 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2100 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1721 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $259,886 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 158 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | 56% | 136 |
| #2 | nomammon | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | ㋛ | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | Viking | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Guttyy | 48% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ㋛ | 50% | 131 |
| #4 | Viking | 50% | 46 |
| #5 | Guttyy | 48% | 82 |
| #6 | Jungle | 46% | 26 |
| #7 | Jokkas | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | 25 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | ㋛ | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jungle | 5 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Viking | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Guttyy | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㋛ | 339 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | Tråklennart ツ | 304 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Guttyy | 219 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Viking | 86 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Jungle | 71 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | +1.66 | 56 | 66 |
| #2 | zertes | +1.33 | 58 | 71 |
| #3 | Jungle | +1.02 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | Jokkas | +0.68 | 86 | 62 |
| #5 | nomammon | +0.49 | 62 | 53 |





