










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 191 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 261 matches | ||
| Wingman | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1925 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3345 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2213 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2265 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,407,400 of utility $194 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zertes | 56% | 27 |
| #2 | Åke | 55% | 73 |
| #3 | Jeppe | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | Megatanken | 53% | 34 |
| #5 | ㋛ | 52% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Guttyy | 48% | 63 |
| #9 | Agony | 46% | 87 |
| #10 | BögSøren | 44% | 108 |
| #11 | Ninjastrutsen | 37% | 35 |
| #12 | F𝖆𝖎𝖓𝖙 | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zertes | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | ㋛ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Lucky | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | Åke | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Tråklennart ツ | 3 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㋛ | 428 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Agony | 237 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Guttyy | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Tråklennart ツ | 131 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Megatanken | 118 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㋛ | +1.91 | 67 | 72 |
| #2 | Tråklennart ツ | +1.58 | 57 | 65 |
| #3 | Jeppe | +1.22 | 72 | 52 |
| #4 | zertes | +0.80 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | nomammon | +0.71 | 61 | 57 |





