










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1086 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 784 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,680 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 178 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12391 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9368 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9012 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7194 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,778,838 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1096 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viking | 54% | 99 |
| #2 | Tråklennart ツ | 52% | 342 |
| #3 | nomammon | 52% | 176 |
| #4 | Jokkas | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | Guttyy | 51% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jokkas | 51% | 109 |
| #5 | Guttyy | 51% | 229 |
| #6 | zertes | 50% | 131 |
| #7 | Megatanken | 45% | 71 |
| #8 | Agony | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | 27 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | zertes | 21 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Viking | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Guttyy | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Megatanken | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | 759 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #2 | Guttyy | 591 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #3 | zertes | 547 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | Megatanken | 207 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Viking | 182 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | +1.33 | 51 | 67 |
| #2 | zertes | +1.30 | 56 | 71 |
| #3 | ㋛ | +0.89 | 68 | 72 |
| #4 | Jokkas | +0.64 | 79 | 57 |
| #5 | nomammon | +0.25 | 59 | 54 |





