








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 257 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2001 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,069 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4008 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3919 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3452 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2690 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $999,243 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubermeek | 67% | 27 |
| #2 | Viking | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | Megatanken | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | Tråklennart ツ | 51% | 156 |
| #5 | ㋛ | 51% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ㋛ | 51% | 229 |
| #6 | Jungle | 50% | 62 |
| #7 | nomammon | 48% | 63 |
| #8 | zertes | 48% | 82 |
| #9 | Jokkas | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | 17 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Jungle | 12 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | ㋛ | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | zertes | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Megatanken | 4 | 0.0083 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㋛ | 649 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | Tråklennart ツ | 339 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | zertes | 322 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Jungle | 204 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Viking | 103 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | +1.74 | 53 | 68 |
| #2 | zertes | +1.69 | 61 | 72 |
| #3 | Jungle | +1.42 | 73 | 71 |
| #4 | ㋛ | +1.38 | 69 | 74 |
| #5 | nomammon | +1.02 | 58 | 57 |





