








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,250 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1094 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1240 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1531 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1385 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $295,514 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubermeek | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | nomammon | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | Tråklennart ツ | 57% | 69 |
| #4 | Guttyy | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | Jungle | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Guttyy | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | Jungle | 54% | 35 |
| #6 | ㋛ | 54% | 99 |
| #7 | zertes | 50% | 46 |
| #8 | Megatanken | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | 7 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Jungle | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | ㋛ | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | zertes | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Guttyy | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㋛ | 268 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | Guttyy | 205 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tråklennart ツ | 172 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | zertes | 170 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Jungle | 106 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tråklennart ツ | +1.82 | 53 | 67 |
| #2 | ㋛ | +1.48 | 72 | 70 |
| #3 | Jungle | +1.46 | 72 | 74 |
| #4 | zertes | +0.87 | 58 | 75 |
| #5 | nomammon | -0.02 | 53 | 60 |





