








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 329 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3308 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3290 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3072 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3751 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $996,535 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 286 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubermeek | 71% | 31 |
| #2 | Viking | 57% | 69 |
| #3 | zertes | 56% | 136 |
| #4 | Jokkas | 52% | 21 |
| #5 | ㋛ | 52% | 342 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ㋛ | 52% | 342 |
| #6 | Jungle | 52% | 31 |
| #7 | Guttyy | 51% | 156 |
| #8 | Megatanken | 50% | 46 |
| #9 | nomammon | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zertes | 19 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | ㋛ | 14 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Megatanken | 7 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Viking | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Guttyy | 4 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ㋛ | 957 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #2 | zertes | 547 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | Guttyy | 378 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #4 | Viking | 134 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Megatanken | 133 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zertes | +1.49 | 59 | 70 |
| #2 | Tråklennart ツ | +1.41 | 52 | 67 |
| #3 | ㋛ | +0.32 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | Jungle | +0.26 | 69 | 69 |
| #5 | nomammon | +0.15 | 58 | 53 |





