








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4610 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,691 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2823 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2155 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3043 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1670 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $847,513 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 105 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Flint | 52% | 54 |
| #6 | navi - kelkkö sauc3 | 51% | 210 |
| #7 | DubbaDuulix★ | 50% | 107 |
| #8 | Samppa | 48% | 83 |
| #9 | MAR | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | navi - kelkkö sauc3 | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | e2 | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | DubbaDuulix★ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | jupe | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | MAR | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e2 | 476 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | DubbaDuulix★ | 279 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | MAR | 201 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | navi - kelkkö sauc3 | 153 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Flint | 133 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frd | +4.96 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | Flint | +2.18 | 84 | 69 |
| #3 | jupe | +0.56 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | e2 | +0.34 | 60 | 71 |
| #5 | DubbaDuulix★ | -0.07 | 71 | 59 |





