








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 307 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Faceit | 77 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3099 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2384 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2938 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2611 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3082 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,038 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 222 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaslipstick | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | iwnl - SnowSlide | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Peij00n4 | 61% | 44 |
| #4 | Oscarii | 58% | 31 |
| #5 | Bizzle | 58% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frd | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | e2 | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Bizzle | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | toMi | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Flint | 3 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | e2 | 449 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | Bizzle | 338 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | DubbaDuulix★ | 158 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | frd | 143 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | gaslipstick | 103 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frd | +5.36 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | gaslipstick | +4.56 | 77 | 86 |
| #3 | Alluu | +2.12 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | e2 | +1.00 | 61 | 71 |
| #5 | toMi | +0.94 | 73 | 71 |





