








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2469 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2333 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1213 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2383 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $721,313 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 314 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rock | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | Rednax- | 67% | 49 |
| #3 | Natsu Hatake - #Boosted & Tired | 66% | 105 |
| #4 | Think | 66% | 67 |
| #5 | Neko | 62% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Gubi.sh | 61% | 95 |
| #8 | @1gbaCS | 61% | 23 |
| #9 | T A K Y O N | 60% | 58 |
| #10 | LITRULLY | 60% | 42 |
| #11 | Eniman | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gubi.sh | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Rednax- | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Natsu Hatake - #Boosted & Tired | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Think | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | T A K Y O N | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Natsu Hatake - #Boosted & Tired | 749 | 0.33 | 23 min |
| #2 | Gubi.sh | 447 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | Nick Zutter | 442 | 0.41 | 13 min |
| #4 | Rednax- | 244 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #5 | T A K Y O N | 231 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Natsu Hatake - #Boosted & Tired | +3.02 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | Rednax- | +1.39 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | Gubi.sh | +1.27 | 80 | 60 |
| #4 | Neko | +0.91 | 88 | 54 |
| #5 | Nick Zutter | +0.72 | 80 | 84 |





