








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 192 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




219 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
19694 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 66,344 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19984 | 30% |
| Smokes | 16762 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11877 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 17721 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,049,670 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2143 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Gubi.sh | 70% | 439 |
| #7 | Finesse. | 70% | 697 |
| #8 | dEnZa | 66% | 91 |
| #9 | Natsu Hatake - #Boosted & Tired | 64% | 130 |
| #10 | Mikeyyy | 63% | 398 |





