








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1979 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1045 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1543 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1142 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,682 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PlofTank | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | maddoxx | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | Smartaaa | 65% | 31 |
| #4 | Dog Mind | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Mr. Rimmington | 59% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yo_ViDa | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | Beek | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | maddoxx | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Mr. Rimmington | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Smartaaa | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yo_ViDa | 350 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | jelle023 | 261 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | Mr. Rimmington | 187 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | maddoxx | 112 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Beek | 100 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jelle023 | +2.17 | 81 | 75 |
| #2 | PlofTank | +2.10 | 51 | 60 |
| #3 | ZypX | +1.39 | 83 | 65 |
| #4 | Dog Mind | +1.21 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | maddoxx | +0.21 | 76 | 72 |





